Have you ever gotten the sudden urge to just grab someone.? Just anyone that you can come to love and have as a best friend and your one and only love.
I guess this urge sprouted from just a growing sense of impatience with people that just frustrate me. With people, and situations that frustrate me. I kinda just want to get this whole search for "the one" over with and find him already - not have to worry about it, y'know? And it'll just be really reassuring if this guy is the right guy. Someone consistent - someone whose interests in you don't fluctuate - a forever love. A true, forever love. Someone who just fits perfectly, as my other half to the missing puzzle piece to my heart. I know, cheesy, right? But really, I feel like I'm growing up too fast sometimes. In certain aspects. I've already considered seriously giving up this thing called a relationship numerous times. But I'm not sure if it's something that I should actually go through with. If God has someone for me out there, I don't want to shut that person out for my own exasperation and frustrations. Does any of this make sense? Am I the only one like this?
I'm ready for commitment, I strongly believe. But to the right person, the one God has chosen for me. From all the experiences I've had, those potential relationships just cannot work. There's always a boundary, a wall that is built that I can't even think of breaking down - so I give it up. When can I freely chase after the one I like -> love ? When can I find the guy that I'm chasing, reciprocally chasing after me - just me? But there's always another one of my own borders - my reluctance in my own self. There just doesn't seem to be anything interesting enough about me. There just doesn't seem to be anything I could do to make the one I love laugh, smile, or feel better. I'd hate to be in a relationship where I can't do anything for the other. But yet...
Where are you, love?
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Holy & Hope.
Living in a holy way, and hoping in God.
Let's live for Him. Let's do the more that we should already, always be doing for such an amazing One as Him.
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